Stand Up Paddleboarders Vs. Surfers at C-Street

Disclosure: Names have been changed to protect individuals at the scene of the crime

A Stand-Up Paddleboarder who goes by the name of “Shark” attacked a longboarder at C-Street on April 17, 2012.  Witnesses say it was a sunny mellow day, “everybody was having a good time” until a stand-up paddleboarder started getting a little greedy with waves.  The longboarder made a comment that offended “Shark.”   Witnesses say there was a skirmish and the longboarder was struck by Shark’s paddle.

Two months prior there was another altercation that landed a local surfer in the “cooler” also known as jail.  I decided to go undercover to investigate the bad blood between SUPers and Longboarders at C-Street that left one man battered and bruised.  The first person I interviewed was the hottest policewoman I’d ever seen who just so happened to respond to the altercation.  This is how the interview proceeded.

HFJ: Hello, I hear there were some shenanigans in water today.

Deputy: Yeah, it’s all over now, though.  Everythings fine if surfers don’t fight in the water.

HFJ: So, it’s ok to fight out of the water.

Deputy: Ye… No, it’s not ok to fight period!

I moved to the middle parking lot to investigate the matter further when I met “sizzler” and “Turtle Roll” who’d just gotten out of the water.

HFJ:  What do you think of Stand-Up Paddleboarders surfing C-Street?

Sizzler: Why do they need paddles?  The point of surfing is to ride a wave not stand there twirling a paddle like a circus freak.

Turte Roll:  Isn’t the point to get out there and get in the water…you know, be one with the ocean.  These guys stand there with dry hair.  It’s awkward.

I wanted the other side of the story so I interviewed the only SUP’er willing to be interviewed who goes by the name of Stand-Up Dan.

HFJ: What is your impression of the feud between SUP’ers and surfer’s at C-Street?

Stand-Up Dan:  What I’m dealing with are a bunch of drunk morons who’ve got nothing better to do than pick a fight.  Most of them don’t even surf.

I asked the same question to a shortboarder named Fast Freddy…

Fast Freddy: It’s ironic that shortboarders have been complaining about longboarders paddling around us for years.  Now there’s a group that are able to paddle around the longboarders and they’re pissed.  Ha…A little taste of their own medicine.